It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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