Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
