yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
