Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
