He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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