doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
