She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I got inside last night via doggy door
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
