2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
