ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Less talking, more tequila
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
