3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
