Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
