got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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