that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
