Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
