He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
