I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
