Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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