I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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