He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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