I just pynch a tree in the face
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
