yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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