what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
