How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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