I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
