i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
