at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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