Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
