did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
