do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
