Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
