Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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