There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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