My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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