Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There's always time for handjobs
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
