Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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