Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You ever have a fart follow you around?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
