lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
