I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
