There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
