Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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