Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
