Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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