She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
