he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Couch. On fire.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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