Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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