He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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