I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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