did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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