Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
