It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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