that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
