ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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