Heybabeimwearingurpanties
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
