Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
