Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
