I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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